Nightmare Journal 6
LOL. My brain is able to turn everything into a fantasy novel.
In the dream, I was in moscow and for some reason (in the dream, the exact reason was not stated), I wanted to talk to the russian political scientist and philosopher Alexander Dugin. I arrived at his house, but one of his servants told me that the "ancient master" would only talk to people who have proven their spiritual strength and pureness. Because of this, before I would be able to talk to the wise old man, I would have to undergo 3 trials. In the dream, I agreed to undergo the trials and the servant used his car to transport me into the wilderness, to the ruins of an ancient temple. The ruins looked vaguely romanesque, to me, but at the same time, they seemed to be far older. I entered the temple. In the temple, I had to move some large boulders to open a stone gate. In the next room, I had to press some stones on a wall (ironically, similar to one riddle in the game Five Nights at Freddies, although I never played that game.) During my way through the temple, a mysterious hooded person with a beard followed me. I had to think that this hooded person looked like Dugin himself.
I woke up before I could find the artifact.
I have to admit, when some of my friends told me of Dugin, I immediately thought he looks like someone straight out of lord of the rings. And because of this, I already joked that "someday, I think I will have a dream where I dream of that guy as an old magician". (And while I think Dugin is extremely scary, I think there are many parts of philosophy, where he is right. Especially on the topic of "Dasein". (And he criticizes the shallow mindedness of most liberal people I know, who constantly talk about "free market" and forget about every other aspect of human being besides materialistic wealth.) That guy also frequently cited my favourite philosophers like Sartre, Heidegger, Nietzsche and Dostojevski, but thinks in vastly different ways than I do. Because of this, while I often disagree with that guy, I think he is interesting.)
At the same time, 2 days before I had this dream, I read comics from Conan the Barbarian, where Conan had to go into an ancient temple to retrieve an old artifact.
In that dream, my dead father came back. He immedeately started tyrannizing me and when he found out that I found out I am outistic, he threw me on the bed and started hitting me on the head. He told me that my father alone had the right to determine who I am and what I am and even if I already found out that my condition did not result from a pediartrist giving me the wrong medicine, I still have to believe that, because my father told me so. And I would not have any right to control my own life. Because my father was responsible for my existence, he thought he has the sole right to control my existence. He said I had no right to own my own life, mind and body, and that would be only the property of my dad.
Then, I woke up.
It might sound strange, but I would rather dream of Dugin again, instead of dreaming of my father. That was the nicer guy. LOL
Men transported me in their car to an abandoned house. They told me that I was finally able to look behind the curtain, because they used something to change my brain. They took me inside the building and there, I saw scenes of destruction, fire and death, but strangely, I was absolutely calm. Nobody explained what I saw. They only told me to be prepared and that I will be able to understand, what I saw, soon.
Dream 4 and 5
This time, I had 2 strange dreams, right after each other. In the first dream, my social worker told me she never wanted to see me again because I did something wrong, She did not told me, what I did wrong.
In the second dream, I wanted to see her and ask her why she wanted to get rid of me. Because of this, I walked through cologne. Strangely, all humans I encountered had worms and maggots growing on their foreheads. It seemed that there were 666 insects on each forehead. But when I looked right at the worms. the worms started to blur and to disappear.
I had a dream that I was on an anime/manga convention. Suddenly, an old woman appeared. She looked extremely familiar. But she was rather scary. She said she wants to live in my house. When I said no, she started hitting me. She told me that I couid not keep her outside any longer. I told her to leave and told her that my house is my property and I have the sole right to decide with whom I want to share my property. She continued hitting me and suddenly, I saw blood over my eyes and heard how my skull broke.
After I woke up, the woman reminded me on the witch in the fairy tale of the briar rose. (Don't know the name of the witch. I remember the name Maleficent, but I think this name was an invention by Disney.)